Friday, August 17, 2007

The Wingnuttiad

The Wingnuttiad:
"Canto the First. As promised some time ago, the start of The Wingnuttiad, a tour of Greater Wingnuttia in heroic couplets, with abject apologies to Alexander Pope.

The Argument:
The Wingnuts gather to salute their King. A brief description of their mad frolics. It is all quite silly."

Right Blog Wingnuts come in many flavors:
There are war-fiends, dopes, and homo-haters;
Photoshop fanatics, all full of phlegm,
Doggéd denouncers of the MSM!
Because they can bravely use the Google,
As they chew Cheetos and Toaster-Strudel –
“Fact-Checking” CBS with Wikipedia –
They squawk that they’re the Brand New Media:
“We’re all Fierce Foes of Islamofascism!”
The Wingnuts wail as they shake & spasm,
Their keyboards caked with weeks-old jism
(This is called “Cit’zen Journamalism.”)
“Check the kerning! link, link! and blather!
Years ago we got that bastard Rather!
If we cross-link enough, and fight fight fight,
In seven years we may once more be right!”
Because everyone knows the media’s biased,
Which alone explains the current crisis.
“The Good Lord knows it just can’t be the war!
That’s going great! No! What plagues us sore,
Is how the NY Times loves Michael Moore,
Who is fat, just like that awful Albert Gore.

There's more to be had... Follow the link to epic joy.

h/t: Lawyers, Guns and Money ---> Whiskey Fire


Donald Douglas said...

That's pretty good!

I like the "jism" line. But, hey, isn't the fight, fight, fight" true on both sides of the blogosphere? Would Kos be as popular as it is had Gore won in 2000?

Burkean Reflections

repsac3 said...

There are similar full-time, crumbs (& other materials) on the keyboard bloggers on the left, yes... (Since my minor (& temporary) disability I've almost become one of 'em. (Been outta work due to a heart rhythm abnormality & related conditions, but it looks like my Pacemaker/ICD combo (very similar to the one Cheney has, I'm told) is working just fine, & I hope to be workin' again any day now.)

I don't know whether Kos would be better or worse off under Gore. At first glance, you'd think you'd be correct, but folks said the same about the popularity of most rightwing pundits, too... (Rumor had it Rush & Fox would lose all kinds of ratings under Bush. Didn't happen.) I suspect folks like hearing their own thoughts echoed back to them...


I hope you will soon be fit as a fiddle, back to work, and making parodies of Pope in short order. Essays of de Man, SVP?